Positive Psychology

  • Is Positivity Killing People’s Spirit

    As a positive psychologist you would think I would be all over being “Positive” in times of adversity, but in this new world where everything “normal” is quickly disappearing and being replaced with new rules and regulations is positivity actually doing more harm than good?

    I recently went live on Facebook to talk about the varying emotions both myself and my family were going through and was met with a tidal wave of support and admiration.


    Because people wanted validation, permission and acceptance to feel whatever they damn well feel in this unknown space, without judgement or opinion.

    They didn´t want to hear “Just think positive, everything is going to be ok”, they wanted to know that they were not alone in their feelings of fear, pain, anger, confusion and anxiousness. That even a positive psychologist can experience the full spectrum of emotions without shame or embarrassment.

    In fact it´s not my place or anyone else´s for that matter, to tell people how to feel, and for many it´s individuals honesty that is keeping them sane.

    The honesty to remove the mask of “I´m fine, nothing to see here” and be open about the fact that some days, I am revelling in the peace and gratitude of slowing down, while other days I am ready to rip people´s head off, as the introvert in me is craving some space for herself.

    In times of adversity all emotions matter.

    Fear is what has been keeping many safe, respecting the boundaries of distance and staying at home. Anger is what has propelled people into action to get stuff done, to sort things through, to release and let go what no longer serves. Confusion has brought about clarity, as to the lives we wish to lead moving forward. Being selfish has allowed, many for the first time, to put their own needs ahead of others and know the importance of filling up their bucket first.

    Peace has allowed for the slowing down and acceptance of a new way of living, and gratitude has expanded our love for the simple things in life that have been so overlooked in the past by us, as we have been speeding through life at a thousand miles an hour.

    All emotions are good.

    Without the darkness how can we revel in the light?

    Without sorrow, how can we know the pure joy of happiness?

    Without restrictions, how can we know and respect freedom?

    The trick is not to stay in those lower vibrational emotions for too long.

    The understanding of what is triggering our emotions, can provide coping strategies and opportunities for growth. Being present with our emotions and rather than fighting against them, asking questions of ourselves, can provide clarity. The seeking out of help and support as and when is needed, can provide new levels of friendship and further bolster our resilience.

    Whatever emotion you are feeling at the moment, know that all is ok. Ride the emotional rollercoaster wherever it might take you and know that in the acceptance and understanding is the knowledge to carry on.